The Vampire is Just Not That Into You, and other tips for the undead

It’s almost the best day of the year! Halloween, of course. And while we’re usually thinking about running away from scary creatures and frightening monsters, there’s another way of looking at it: here’s a short list of self-help books for the undead in your life, from USA Today.

The Vampire Is Just Not That Into You by Vlad Mezrich (Scholastic, $7.99) “Does he seem reluctant to have you undead ever after with him?”

The New Vampire’s Handbook: A Guide for the Recently Turned Creature of the Night edited by The Vampire Miles Proctor (Villard, $14) “Avoid feeding from drug addicts, alcoholics and paint huffers. The presence of contaminants diminishes their blood vitality.”

Z.E.O: A Zombie’s Guide to Getting A(Head) in Business by Scott Kenemore (Skyhorse, $12.95) “A zombie never needed a ‘motivational speech’ or ‘incentive structure’ to get off its duff and try to eat somebody’s brain.”

The Werewolf’s Guide to Life by Ritch Duncan and Bob Powers (Broadway, $13.99) “Few places (are) as ideal to change into a werewolf as a bomb shelter. Bomb shelters are underground, ensuring that no one will hear your howling and growling.”

Vampire Seduction Handbook: Have the Most Thrilling Love of Your Life by Luc Richard Ballion with Scott Bowen (Skyhorse, $12.95) “If a vampire really likes you, he is most certainly going to drink your blood. By the same token, he’s not going to drain you completely.”

Great tips!